Marriage & Family
Couples in crisis, couples drifting, couples who want to grow closer before things get hard, and the families they build. Engaged couples preparing for marriage are welcome too.
Explore marriage & family counselingThis page speaks to two audiences. Choose yours.
Counseling
Your problem is not the problem.
Here is what more than thirty years of sitting with people has taught me: the thing you are facing is rarely what does the real damage. The damage comes from how a problem tricks you into responding, in ways that hurt more than they help. Sometimes it happens all at once. More often it happens so gradually you do not notice until you are somewhere you never meant to be. Counseling with me is learning to see the trick, and then learning to trick it back. That is not the same as making the problem go away, and it is not a way around it. The way out is through. But you do not have to go through it alone.
Part one
How problems trick us
Every problem I have ever sat across from works the same five angles. Once you can name them, you start to notice them, and noticing is where the tables begin to turn.
-
1
Emotions that are uncomfortable
When a feeling gets loud enough, fear, anger, shame, grief, it starts making my decisions for me, and it usually decides badly.
-
2
Thoughts that are misleading
A problem hands me a story about what it means, about me, about the other person, about God, and I believe the story without ever checking it.
-
3
An identity that's unclear
When I am not sure who I am, the problem is glad to tell me: the failure, the victim, the one who always ends up here.
-
4
Actions that don't help
I do whatever feels better right now, avoiding, numbing, lashing out, going quiet, and it quietly makes tomorrow worse.
-
5
Community that's lacking
Problems love isolation. The more alone I get, the bigger they grow, and the more their version of things starts to sound like the truth.
Part two
Five ways to trick them back
Each trick has an answer, and the answers spell the word. This is what we actually do together in a counseling conversation. None of it is quick, all of it takes practice, and every bit of it can be learned.
-
Tolerate uncomfortable emotions
We name the feeling, let it be in the room without letting it drive, and practice staying steady while it passes through, because it does pass.
-
Rethink unhelpful thoughts
We set the story the problem told you next to what is actually true, and you learn to catch the misleading thought before it settles in and starts running things.
-
Identify the person you want to be
We get clear on who God made you to be and who you want to be in the middle of this, so your choices have somewhere to aim besides relief.
-
Change unhelpful behaviors
We find one thing you do that feeds the problem and trade it for one small, doable thing that starves it, then we build from there.
-
Keep connected to healthy community
We look at who is in your corner, who ought to be, and how to stay close to them on the days the pull is to hide.
This is the framework behind Bret's book, TRICK: How Your Problems Trick You and 5 Ways to Trick Them Back. Read about the book or read a sample on Amazon.
What to expect
What a session is like
No pressure, no paperwork maze, just a simple way to begin.
1
Reach out
Send a note through the contact form with a little about what you are facing. Share only what you are comfortable with.
2
A first conversation
I follow up to find a first time to talk, in person across the Augusta/CSRA area or online by video, wherever you are. We start by naming what you hope will change.
3
Walk it forward
Together we work the five moves at your pace, adjusting as we go. You do not walk it alone, and you leave each conversation with something you can practice before the next one.
Who it's for
Where this work most often begins
Individuals, couples, and families. These three pages go deeper on the places life most often gets hard, and hopeful.
Personal Growth & Faith
Anxiety, a hard season, a faith question, a stuck place in life. Becoming who God made you to be, with truth you can actually use.
Find growth resourcesSexual Abuse Recovery
Gentle, trauma-informed help for survivors, at your own pace. You are not alone, it was not your fault, and real healing is possible.
Read about recovering after abuse
Honest scope
How is this different from clinical therapy?
Both pastoral counseling and clinical therapy can be deeply good; they are different kinds of care. I am a pastoral counselor, not a licensed clinical therapist. What I offer is faith-based pastoral care built on Scripture and the TRICK framework, and when a situation calls for licensed or medical care I will gladly help you connect with the right professional, and I often work alongside them. Here is an honest look at the difference:
| Pastoral counseling | Clinical therapy | |
|---|---|---|
| Foundation | Scripture, faith, and spiritual care | Clinical training, diagnosis, and licensed treatment |
| Focus | Meaning, relationships, growth, and hope, with practical next steps | Diagnosing and treating mental-health conditions; medication when needed |
| Who it's for | Anyone seeking faith-rooted guidance for life, marriage, and family | People needing licensed care for clinical or medical concerns |
| When to seek clinical care | I refer out for diagnosis, medication, or acute clinical needs, and often work alongside licensed professionals | The right step for active crisis, trauma needing clinical treatment, or a condition requiring medical oversight |
If you are ever in immediate danger, call 911. For crisis support any time, you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). I will always help you find the right level of care.
Good questions
Frequently asked questions
What is pastoral counseling?
Pastoral counseling is faith-based care that brings biblical truth and real compassion to struggles in life, marriage, and family. It is a confidential conversation focused on understanding what you face and finding practical next steps.
What is the TRICK method?
TRICK is the framework I use in counseling and wrote about in my book. It names five ways a problem tricks you (uncomfortable emotions, misleading thoughts, an unclear identity, unhelpful actions, and a lack of community) and five moves to trick it back: Tolerate, Rethink, Identify, Change, and Keep connected. The point is not to make the problem disappear but to stop letting it run your response.
How is pastoral counseling different from clinical therapy?
It is grounded in Scripture and spiritual care, not clinical diagnosis or medication. I am a pastoral counselor, not a licensed therapist, and I will help you find licensed care when a situation needs it.
Is what we talk about confidential?
Yes. Conversations are private and held with care. I will always explain the rare limits to confidentiality (such as risk of harm) up front.
Do you offer online sessions, or only in person?
Both. I meet people in person across the Augusta/CSRA area and online by video anywhere.
Do I have to be religious to come?
No. Anyone is welcome. I work from a Christian, biblical foundation and will meet you wherever you are, without pressure.
Do I need to read the book first?
No. We will walk through the five moves together as they come up in your situation. If you want to read ahead, the book is on the TRICK page, and Amazon shows a free sample.
How do we get started?
Reach out through the contact form with a little about what you are facing, and I will follow up to find a first time to talk.
Take the first step
Let's start with a conversation
Whatever you are carrying, you do not have to carry it alone. Tell me a little about what you are facing and I will follow up to find a first time to talk.
For counselors and centers
A framework your clients can carry home.
Give a counselor and a client a shared language and the work between sessions gets easier. TRICK is that language: five ways problems trick people, five moves to trick them back, and a single word that holds all of it, simple enough to remember between sessions and plain enough to use at the kitchen table. Bret Legg built it over more than thirty years of pastoral counseling in Augusta, GA, wrote it down as a book, and offers to walk counseling teams and pastoral care teams through it.
The framework
The framework in one page
Part one of the book names the tricks; part two answers each one. The mapping is one to one, which is what makes it teachable, and what makes it stick.
| How a problem tricks a person | How they trick it back |
|---|---|
| 1Emotions that are uncomfortable | Tolerate uncomfortable emotions |
| 2Thoughts that are misleading | Rethink unhelpful thoughts |
| 3An identity that's unclear | Identify the person you want to be |
| 4Actions that don't help | Change unhelpful behaviors |
| 5Community that's lacking | Keep connected to healthy community |
In a session the framework works as a map rather than a script: locate which trick is doing the most damage this week, then work the matching move. Between sessions the client only has to remember one word. The full treatment is in the book, TRICK, and Amazon shows a free sample.
Working together
Ways to work together
Three shapes this can take. Each one starts with a conversation about your team and what you are hoping the framework will do for the people you serve.
Staff training
A half-day or full-day walkthrough of TRICK for a counseling team or a pastoral care team: the five tricks, the five moves, and how each one shows up in a real conversation.
Ask about trainingConsulting
Help a center fold TRICK into the way it already works: intake questions, session structure, and the homework a client takes home between visits.
Ask about consultingSpeaking
Bret speaks to counselors, churches, and conferences, on TRICK and on the marriage, family, and recovery work he has done for three decades.
See speaking
Honest scope
Where it sits
Where it sits is simple to say. TRICK is a pastoral, faith-integrated framework; it complements clinical treatment and does not replace it. Bret is a pastoral counselor with a Master's in Marriage and Family Counseling and a Master's in Religious Education, not a licensed clinical therapist, and he says so plainly. When a situation calls for clinical or medical care he refers to licensed professionals and works alongside them. In a counseling center, the framework is most at home as a shared vocabulary that sits beside whatever clinical model the team already uses, giving a client something to hold onto between sessions and giving the team one simple way of talking about what is going on.
If your team works with people in active crisis, the usual clinical and safety protocols come first. TRICK is for the long, ordinary work of learning to respond differently, and it is patient about that.
Materials
What your team and your clients can use today
Everything Bret has written, taught, and recorded is either in print or free on this site.
-
The book
TRICK
How Your Problems Trick You and 5 Ways to Trick Them Back. Paperback, 192 pages. The framework in full, written for the person sitting in the chair, not only for the counselor.
About the book -
The free library
220 2-Minute Truths and 690 essays
Short videos and longer writing on marriage, family, faith, personal growth, and recovery, all searchable by the need a client walks in with. Good for homework between sessions.
Search the libraryRead the essays -
The podcast
Quick Counsel
Bret's short-form counseling podcast: one question, one honest answer, in the time it takes to drive to the office.
Listen to Quick Counsel
Next step
Bring TRICK to your team
Tell Bret a little about your team, the people you serve, and what you are hoping for. He will follow up to talk it through, no pitch, just a conversation.